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Dead Sea Almanac – April 10, 2019

PDF Version: https://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/rk-kr-ljtN

Featured Item

The Black Blade is a hideous artifact that comes into our possession by illicit dealings with a representative of the Black Army – an exclusive deal only we are able to offer to our valued customers! These necromantic blades are said to whisper to their wielders and guide their blows in combat, which sounds right useful if we dare say so ourselves.*

* The Dead Sea Trading Company, Inc. is not responsible for illegal necromantic magic which may or may not be present in artifacts it sells, nor for effects or influence on sanity caused by said artifacts.

Stats

The Black Blade is a +1 longsword that may or may not be sentient, at the DM’s discretion. If sentient, it is lawful evil and whispers in a language none of the players can speak – the arcane black speech, which only Black Army Blood Commanders are known to speak (see Saturday’s edition). Regardless, it is a cursed item, and shifts the wielder’s alignment one step towards evil while they wield it. They also refuse to be parted with it and will attack anyone who tries to separate them – an enchantment designed to ensure troopers never lose their blades.

A Story From the Frontier

The strange beast known as the Chupacabra has been sighted by a party of the mayor’s hunters, who in chasing it had two of their own most grievously injured, one not expected to recover. The beast is said to have seven tails and three heads, and to growl with a dissonance that chills the spine of even the most hardened soldier or guradsman. The mayor encourages farmers to be most vigilant and has issued a revolving watch of the city guard to deal with the threat; men armed with heavy crossbows have been tracking the beast all through the morning after last night’s failed hunt, with the mayor himself coordinating the search. If anyone sees the beast, they are encouraged to deal with the mayor directly or with his representatives, and not to approach it on their own, it being considered most incredibly deadly. A reward of fifty crown is posted for information leading to its successful capture or slaughter at the hands of the city guard.

The Chupacabra

The “Chupacabra” is actually a three-headed displacer beast created by fey magic; see page 81 of the fifth edition Monster Manual for stats and a further description. This one is the pet of a rogue fey named Lathan who resides in a tower that sometimes appears and sometimes doesn’t appear in the material plane.

In Other News

  • The mayor’s son failed to appear at his sister’s fete.
  • The cook at the mayor’s residence is missing supplies.
  • The town well has begun to speak in Orcish.

Wednesday Delights

Today, I, Chef Gustav, travel to Atlantis to uncover the remarkable mysteries of their unique culinary traditions, which stretch back, I am told, to before the reshaping of the world, and in fact to three reshapings hence, when the city was first sunken and the trench upon which it sits created. The Atlanteans have been nothing but hospitable since I arrived, and we have made the most marvelous food together.

1d6Atlantean Delicacy
1Rock Lobster
2Clam Fresco
3Rock Salt Skewers
4Chogo Nui
5Salad au Gratin
6Fruit Smoothies
Rock Lobster

Prepared with a most excellent cheese powder dusting, these lobsters native to the borders of the trench are raised by Atlanteans in small pools of flowing water that resemble our very own fountains. The dish is salted to perfection and the combination of cheese and salt is most delicious, not to mention the exquisite taste of the lobster itself.

Clam Fresco

These fresh clams are raised in the same setting as the lobsters, and are prepared in a solution of salt water for eating cold; the taste is most unique, as I have never before had clam served raw.

Rock Salt Skewers

Sold by the same vendors as clam fresco, these skewers contain mineral salts collected from the edges of the trench by miners, and are quite tasty while walking through the park.

Chogo Nui

The most excellent of all the dishes I have sampled this week, and possibly ever, Chogo Nui consists of the drippings of many types of meat and fish collected in a pan and then restewed with carrots, potatoes, whitefish, and cheese. The skins of the potatoes are left in, and the chef is encouraged to add their own unique ingredients as well; my favorite so far has been a blend of sweet chili peppers and salmon.

Salad au Gratin

This dish is a mix of contradictions, but savory and healthy at the same time. A layer of kelp is covered over with spices, then layered with potatoes, and finally with melted cheese. I can only describe it as more delicious than a quiche and having some of the tastes of the foreign lands.

Fruit Smoothies

The Atlanteans have devised, by means of a clever pulping device, a fruity delicacy they call “smoothies”, which are at once delicious and of great benefit to the health.

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