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Dead Sea Almanac – Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Featured Item

Today’s featured item is a wonderous invention: The Box of Everlasting Snuff. No more will you have to run out of one of nature’s finest pleasures and be forced into a trip to the grocery store; instead, simply take a pinch from the snuff that never runs out! Just think of the money you’ll save on tobacco taxes!*

* The editors are in no way responsible for any liabilities to life or limb that may result from failure to pay taxes to the empire, and wish to state in no uncertain terms that they are adherents of the empire who are staunchly loyal to it.

Using the Box of Everlasting Snuff

As a wonderous item, the box of everlasting snuff does as described; however, a creative dungeon master will capitalize on the membrane-irritating nature of snuff by forcing unaccustomed players to make Constitution saves or sneeze violently. Dungeon masters will also differ on the amount of snuff the box can produce per unit time; some will allow the creation of hills or the filling of barrles, while others will imply it’s only good for a pinch at a time. How you use the box is up to you, but remember to reward your players for coming up with new and creative uses for it, such as dumping a boxful on the guard’s head as an improvised form of pepper spray or using it to mark a breadcrumb trail within a labyrinth.

A Story From the Frontier

Today’s story is a flood of detail from yesterday’s news: The Tomb of Seya has allegedly been found in Anak. During the remodel of a caffe shop in the Sarilandic town, a panel was demolished which revealed behind it elaborate inscriptions in the glyphic font of the Kayrne. The inscriptions show the cartouche of Seya, last hand-maiden of the queen, who was long thought to have died in the inland deserts in an unmarked grave. Adventurers have already flocked to the area en masse, and time will tell if the tomb itself may be found, or whether this is just another wild goose chase. The local authorities have issued a statement that anyone desecrating the tomb of an archaologically significant person will be dealt with accordingly.

In Other News

  • Local cows have been found drained entirely of blood; farmers blame the occurance on a beast of legend said to take to the skies after dark.
  • A woman in a dark cloak has been asking after a party of adventurers in the night, and searching inns to find them.
  • Coconuts are in short supply since a vessel hauling them was sunk by unknown forces of nature Thursday past, with survivors coming into port today on the RSE Talon.

Tuesday Titles

The marvelous Mrs. Macready has struck again! Today’s selection of titles is sure to wow the fantasy-lover, impress the home improvement specialist, and leave the wizard muttering “Impossible!” over and over again.

1d12Book Title
1Home Woodworking: A Practicum
2The Subtle Art of Necromancy
3Rare Metals and Their Origins
4The Book I’m Reading*
5The Astral Almanac: Taurus 2016
6Artificer’s Guide to the Unknown
7The Man of Many Faces
8The Spheramidion: Firsthand Accounts from the Hallowed Moon**
9Atlantis: Fact or Fiction?
10The Deep Sea Trench and Its Most Numerous and Horrifying Monsters
11Flying through the Skies: The Autobiography of Leopold Di Vancia
12Brothers Apart: The Tarrasque and the Moon

* This book is a fantastic story, but is also enchanted so that anyone who reads it forgets the story as well as ever having read it the moment they look up from its pages.

** The book describes and includes a map to find a nearby portal to one of the outer planes that serves as a nexus for demons of shadow.

Featured Tale: The Man of Many Faces

The Man of Many Faces is a book written from the unique perspective of seventeen different individuals all claiming to be the same man. In each chapter, a different individual’s life is explored, and in some of them, the man’s life ends. By the end of the book the reader is left imagining that the man has seen and done nearly everything there is; prominent critics have suggested the many-faceted narrator is an analogue for humanity as a whole, which is unique as a species for the degree to which they differ. Poets and philosophers have attempted to capture the breadth and vastness of humanity before, but none have done so more eloquently than the author of this work, which is alleged to be an autobiography but which bears no accrediting remark.

Featured Series: Brothers Apart

Brothers Apart is a series detailing the adventures of James and Angus Donnegan, brothers separated at birth who re-encounter each other as adults. Initially hostile because of the differing nations they call home, the magic-wielding brothers soon grow to call each other friends, and legendary tales of their exploits grow and grow as the series unfolds, culminating in an almost godlike status for the protagonists.

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