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Dead Sea Almanac – Saturday, March 30, 2019

This Week’s Biggest Story

This week has been a rather slow one, but there remains the very interesting story of the man in shining armor and the man in traditional black cloth who pursues him. While our editors were unable to catch up with the man who claims to be a paladin, the pursuing Hand of the Prince, Salen Armensrite, was quite forthcoming with answers in our interview. We catch up with him below.

So, tell us about this man you’re pursuing. What is he like?

He is a treacherous bastard and a thief. He deserves none of the respect you people give him, and his only master is himself. He stole my sister’s only child – snatched him away right from her arms, and then commended him to whatever deity he serves. The man is a snake, and I am here to crush his head.

That’s a very bold statement. Wouldn’t it be better to let local authorities catch up with him?

I do not trust your “local authorities”. Where I am from, the Hand of the Prince is the law. We do not piddle around ourselves like pups; we are like the grown dune-hounds of the Algetti. This man has committed a great injustice, and he will be dealt with accordingly.

It sounds like you have a plan. Would you mind telling us a bit about yourself, so we can get to know the Hand of the Prince?

Who I am does not matter; but since you ask, I will tell you. I am Salen Armensrite, Hand of the High Prince Ali Ajar, whose shadow extends over the seven dunes and covers the six goats. I come from the tower of Ar ak Barum, the Shining Spire in your local tongue. I am a great trader and leader of men, but your princes here are different. They are weak, not like my prince, and fragile. They need men to protect them. My prince protects himself.

You mention your prince a lot. Is he important to you?

My prince is my life and my reason for existence. I was born with no purpose, and he has given me one. An orphan has no place other than what he earns; I have earned my role at his side by loyalty. He recognizes me for his friend and his confidant, and he sends me on this urgent mission to recover my sister’s daughter.

You say you’re an orphan, and yet you speak of your sister. Is she related to you you?

The prince has adopted me into his own family; I am a crown heir of the line Ajar. If my nephew does not survive I will inherit the throne, but Amhet help us, I will find him and I will deliver him safely home. I have given my brother and my prince my word.

You keep referring to your liege as a prince. Isn’t he more like a chieftain?

My prince is what you would call a chieftain, but you would not understand. He is a prince – one of the seven shattered lines that rules over Sariland. He has the power to someday unite the houses, and he can summon them together into war if he or a brother is attacked. It has been so since the dawning of the current age, when our forefather Ayem had seven sons and distributed his kingdom evenly between them.

Seven kingdoms, equally divided? Surely there’s one or two that got the better end of the deal.

Our father Ayem was wise. He divided the desert into sevion regions, each of equal size, and each containing one of the seven resources that make our people whole: water-stone, iron, wood, salt, oil, gold, and gems. The people of the water-stone bring us together in the great city to trade what makes our people rich. It is an impressive sight.

I’m a little bit lost. What’s water-stone?

Water-stone is the stone which grows with moisture – stone from which water may be extracted. It’s also the name of a type of polished rock native to the region, which our people use to make deep wells from which all water readily flows. Other tribes have wells, but we rely on the water-stone for our irrigation and our crops; without it we would not have water for our animals or our caffe. In times of drought the water-stone tribe brings us great boons of water for our crops.

So how do all these riches get to the ocean? You have to trade somehow, right?

Indeed we do. The water-stone tribe occupies our great port city of Alesham, which your people call the City of Colored Stone; its mosaics are famous throughout the world. Your ships often dock there and bring goods into the great eastern sea, and then by river to the places north of here. I have come overland by a far more difficult route, through the mountains to the south. The passes are barely open this time of year, and it was indeed treacherous.

You must be very brave to face the passes so early in the spring.

I am indeed brave – I have faced a viper with only my bare hands, and have ventured by myself into the great dead reaches of the dunes, what my people call the Sea of the Dead. You should know that when I find this “paladin,” I will not be afraid to face him. He will answer to my wrath as the wrath of many is laid out before him. No one escapes the right hand of a prince, though many try.

You’re a very interesting person, from a very interesting land. Where can our readers find out more about you and your home country of Sariland?

I recommend the library, since they are clearly literate.

Bulk Goods

The following goods are available in bulk this week, to be sold by pick-up only and to the first customer to meet the offer:

1d10Bulk GoodAmountPrice
1Lumber4 cord140 GP
2Iron Rods80 ct.220 GP
3Fresh Fish12 barrels160 GP
4Barrel Hoops146 ct.80 GP
5Women’s Skirts89 ct.330 GP
6Men’s Trousers34 ct.86 GP
7Sealing Tar3 barrels27 GP
8Springs18 lbs. (asstd.)246 GP
9Hot Spring Water18 cases187 GP
10Leather Belts27 ct.27 GP

Jobs Posting

The following jobs are posted by paying advertisers:

Mucking Out of Farnsworth Stables

The Farnsworth Importing Company seeks an able-bodied crew of men to muck out all sixty of our horse pens; it has been some time since the task was done properly as our normal hands are on strike. Eighty crown to be paid on completion of the job.

Capture of a Large Amount of Game

The Festival Committee requires for the spring dance ten flank of venison, two flank of boar, and eighteen or more small game; delivery of the above to net a negotiated fee based on the quality of the takings.

Return of Rachel Vinaigre

I, Sir Percival Hogiston, will personally pay one hundred twenty crown above the published sixty for my bride-to-be, Rachel Vinaigre, provided she is delivered to me unharmed so that I may honorably claim her hand. I will not object if she is bound and dirtied somewhat.

Reader’s Column

It is the intent of the Dead Sea Trading Company to publish letters and answers in this portion of our periodical. We start with this letter from an admiring fan named Lucy.

Dear Dead Sea Trading Company,



I have recently encountered a most awful witch who has made my brother her servant by simply offering him candies; is there any way I can reclaim my brother before he goes too far?



Sincerely Yours,

Lucy


Response

Dear Lucy,



We recommend the use of our famous Five Alarm Hot Sauce. It is guaranteed to make your brother cry bitter tears of regret while eating candies.

Failing that, there’s a whole procedure involving a lion and a poorly manufactured table, but we recommend against that course of action if it can at all be avoided.



Sincerely Yours,

The Editors

Weekly Weather

The weather for this week continues to warm, with highs expected to see seventy-four degrees.

Sunday

Sixty-five degrees and sunny, with a warm southwesterly wind.

Monday

Seventy degrees and balmy, with a cool sea breeze.

Tuesday

Thunderstorms, with a low of fifty-five degrees, but clearing to a pleasant afternoon of seventy degrees.

Wednesday

Warm and wet; expect early morning showers and a high of seventy-four degrees.

Thursday

Cooling throughout the day; expect a low of sixty degrees that persists into the afternoon and overnight.

Friday

A brisk morning of fifty-five degrees followed by cold rain; warming considerably in the late afternoon to seventy degrees again.

Saturday

A beautiful day; seventy degrees and sunny, with a light sea air.

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