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Dead Sea Almanac – Monday, March 25, 2019

Featured Item

The Dead Sea Almanac is proud to feature today’s wondrous item at a steep discount! Appearing as just a simple porcelain slug upon a pendant, this device requires only to be stroked while the words “come alive” are whispered, and it shall immediately grow into a monstrous beast, capable of devouring one’s enemies or rival statesmen! Yours now, while supplies last! Come and get this remarkable pendant!


The amulet, when activated, creates a large beast of burden with the same stats as a warhorse; however, the beast appears as a large grub with circular rows of teeth. It remains for twenty-four hours or until dismissed, after which time it reverts to its porcelain form over the course of an hour. The amulet may be used once per week.

A Story From the Frontier

Today’s tale from the frontier is a story of whirlwind romance: Alecia Rimming, the daughter of town smith and councilman Henry Rimming, claims to have been wooed while travelling by a most mysterious paladin of the divine light, who claimed to have been blessed by an angel for the purpose of granting to common folk inspiration and character. The man in shining armor is purported to have done many good deeds upon the road in the week just past; everything from the routing of highway bandits to the guiding of a lost child to an inn have been attributed to him. The editors of this periodical, however, are inclined to ask why he has not made himself known in any town hereabouts; being a man of such character, what has he surely to fear in doing so? It is only charalatans and fools who spend the night upon the wilderness when it can be avoided, and while this man is clearly neither, his reason for remaining so mysterious has yet to be known.

In Other News

  • The ice sculptures which have graced the town square throughout the winter are to be sold at auction to the highest bidder on the morrow; such ice being still suitable for the cooling of drinks and persons.
  • A man of many talents, the town farrier has devised a new sport for the throwing of horse shoes around an upright stake; an informal tournament is to be held this Saturday.
  • A strange locked chest was deposited outside of city hall this morning; neither the smith nor the carpenter could find any means of opening it but force, of which the application did not succeed. The mayor beseeches anyone with knowledge of puzzle boxes or spells of opening to come forward for the purpose of unravelling the mystery.

Malfavhar’s Monday Madness

We are pleased to offer a new column by our very own Malfavhar the Magnificent! In this weekly feature, Malfavhar will capture the essence of a place in which he procures fine goods for sale, starting with his very own workshop and expanding across the various reaches of the cosmos!

Malfavhar’s Astral Workroom
1d12Item of Special Interest
1An astrolabe that gives the bearer a perfect sense of direction
2A map which shows the wearer’s current vicinity in varying degrees of detail
3A magical journal which records the conversations of the bearer and their companions
4A compass which detects astral energies rather than true north
5A telescope that always shows the surface of a gas giant
6A candle enchanted not to ruin the bearer’s night vision
7A bowl of water which shows the fabric of the weave as oil-like shimmers in the water
8An easel which stores and intelligently provides prior drawings based on overheard context
9A pair of binoculars with 1,000x zoom, only useful when affixed to something stable
10A pair of gloves which warm the hands, offsetting dexterity penalties for cold environments
11A quill which draws what the owner witnesses upon a provided piece of parchement
12A thermos which never fails to produce an endless quantity of chicken soup for drinking

A Description For the Masses

The workshop is littered with papers and implements of stellar observation – globes, measuring instruments crafted from the finest brass, and optical devices of unknowable nature. On one shelf is pinned an expansive star chart, blocking access to the books behind; other shelves are filled with wood- and leather-bound tomes of varied age and wear, with here a set of rolled-up scrolls and there a painting of the constellation of the Seven Sisters. The smell of saltpeter wafts through the room, mixing with the odor of melted wax and the smell of fresh ink and caked-on dust. A giant central telescope points upwards to the heavens, revealed to those below by a cutout in the roof. The whole laboratory is constructed on a rotating dias, the gearworks of which were visible as you mounted the narrow spiral stairs, and you fathom that the roof is closable in case of weather.

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