Articles Tabletop

Dead Sea Almanac – March 21, 2019

Featured Item

We are pleased to offer the return of an old and often asked-for commodity, our famous Fire-Starter Logs! Simply pull the attached cord, and a fire can be started anywhere in a matter of moments! The log comes packaged in guaranteed long-lasting water-proof packaging, and is insured for ten crown against damages to hearths*.

* Expenses above and beyond the insured amount are non-reimbursable and should not be considered legally actionable, regardless of the legality of selling “tools of arson” or any related category of appliance.


The Fire-Starter Log is just what it sounds like: you pull the pin, and you get instant fire, which spreads and otherwise behaves as normal. While the log will burn in heavy rain or after a soaking, other materials nearby might not. The log burns for one hour and produces enough heat on its own to keep a small huddle of adventurers alive in cold conditions and to cook them a meal, or to start a larger fire.

A Story From the Frontier

More movement today on the tale of the Mermaid Sisters, as the common-folk are now calling them: it seems the merchant responsible for holding one of them captive has been found dead, and the woman he claimed to be a maid of the sea was arrested for his murder, her hair and naked body being slathered with his blood in a most vicious spectacle. The whereabouts of her sister remain unknown, and she has been clothed and bathed and housed in the Lotsmuth gaol, awaiting a trial in which it is expected she must hang. No further evidence that either woman is a mermaid has been found, though their behavior is most unusual and the woman is said to have protested her innocence to the constable who took her in. The folk of Lotsmuth seek a speedy resolution to this quandary, but there are those that maintain the woman’s purity is all that stands between them and the wrath of the Black Rider. See the Saturday Edition for the story by our own Devin McAllister, who travelled up today to report on the affair!

In Other News

  • A mysterious man with a pointed hat has been sighted by the Lounging Dragon, carrying a staff whose markings might indicate he is a wizard trying to pass undetected. Stay vigilant, readers, for magic may be afoot!
  • A reader barbecuing his famous Wurst-Roast using our Enhanced Charcoal Briquettes was indignant to report the presence of an unsought-after gremlin that made quick work of his repast; the editors know nothing of any “coal demons” or related intrigue, though offer ten crown for the story to anyone with proof.
  • All lawn-bowling has been canceled, by order of the crown.

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