Dead Sea Almanac – March 19, 2019

Today’s wonderous item is a fantastic appliance: it makes eggs do anything and everything you could ever dream! It’s a souffle-maker, a hard-boiler, a frier of two at once if you are agile! It even flings unfinished eggs at passers by with but a flick of the wrist and the press of a button*!

* The Dead Sea Trading Company is not responsible for harm that may result from the flinging of unfinished eggs, including but not limited to embedded shells, malignant and persistent odors, and a variety of slipping and sliding effects. The Dead Sea Trading Company apologizes for the actions of adventurers, but cannot be held responsible for the improper usage of their legally retailed implements.

Stats

The Egg-Flinger is just what it says, and so much more. It cooks eggs to perfection in any manner desired, and can serve any number of humanoids with breakfast at the rate of two eggs per customer. Additionally, the user may make a ranged attack with the Egg-Flinger, declaring one of the following effects if they should hit:

  • The target is momentarily blind-folded by an omelette, giving them disadvantage on their next attack roll.
  • The target is splattered with rotten egg, giving them disadvantage on Charisma checks for one day.
  • The target is covered in slippery raw egg mixture, giving them disadvantage on their next dexterity check.

A Story From the Frontier

Today we were greeted in the marketplace by a most peculiar merchant, who sold to us a scale from a mermaid’s tail; he could not say where he had acquired it but travelers from the road said they had seemed him leave from Cardiff. He also claimed to have tickets for a most unusual show, and we, being gentlepersons male and female of a most inspiring curiosity, were displeased in no uncertain terms to find it merely a peep show at a most unclothed young lady who claims she seeks a friend in Lotsmuth wood, and that her travels with the merchant are but temporary.

We returned with officers of the police force but found the merchant had already closed up shop, and the young woman was nowhere to be found. Facing indecency charges but with no proof in the matter, he was allowed on his way. The editors are most aggrieved at the fate of the young woman and post a reward of fifteen crowns for information leading to her safe retrieval.

In Other News

  • The crown hosts another lawn-bowling tournamaent, to be worth 100 crown to the victor.

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